Blogs About Mom Climbing Out of The Hole – A Story of Mental Illness Occasionally Assorted Nonsense

Restrictions Eased? Not For Some, & Why I’m Angry As Hell About It

Warning: This post contains explicit language and some serious rantings.

All 50 states are easing their COVID-19 restrictions to some extent. Well ain’t that fucking grand. Does Mom and me no good, but hope everyone else is having a rocking good time.

I’d like to be magnanimous and say I’m happy for all those who aren’t caring for someone in the high-risk group who don’t have to worry about bringing the virus back to their charge. But there’s a little petty part of me that is jealous as hell. There. I owned it. Not proud, but there it is.

I’d love to feel safe going out to a restaurant. Or getting my nails done. Or seeing my nieces, who I’ve not seen beyond video chats since early March. The older one turns five soon, and the concept of a birthday party with Mom and me in attendance is still up in the air. The baby started walking during lock down. Pre-COVID-19 Shit Show, she knew who I was, smiled when she saw me as her mother got her out of her car seat for a visit with Nana and Aunt Fran. If I got up to leave the room she gave me a look that said, “You’re comin’ back, right?” Next time I see her, whenever the hell that is, will she remember Mom and me? Or will we have to start all over?

And who’s fault is it? China? Some Wuhan asshole who thought bats were good eats? No. Sure. That’s where the virus originated. But the debacle that is the source of my anger is solely on that orange asshat we call POTUS. More so, I’m angry because there is a very real chance that @realDonaldTrump may be reelected come November. Or even more frightening, that he won’t win, but he’ll contest the results. Anyone with half a brain can see he’s already teeing that one up with all his mail-in ballots are fraudulent rhetoric. And then fuck only knows what happens. COVID-19, lock down, and mask requirements will seem like a walk in the park.

“Get Over It”

After the 2016 election, I posted that I didn’t want to wake up in a world where Donald Trump was president. One of Mom’s friends responded, “I put up with your guy for 8 years, get over it.” Yeah. Unfriending now. Only on Facebook. I still set up her weekly lunches with Mom, but I no longer joined. We haven’t spoken since the early days of lock down, but when and if I see her again, I’d like to ask her if she still thinks I should, “get over it.” If she says yes, that little petty part of me would like to tell her she’ll never see my mother again. But I won’t. I’ll rise above that one.

Fuck Donald Trump and The Horse He Rode In On

If we’d had a competent president we would not be in this mess. I would not be so damn pissed off. I would not find myself in occasionally very dark places. And I would be able to let Mom see her granddaughter and great granddaughters by now. I would even let her go out to lunch once a week with her closeted bigot of a best friend.

But it’s not just me who’s life Trump has turned upside down. I actually have it way easier than some. Child abuse hotline calls in many parts of the country are down by as much as 50%. Not because kids aren’t getting beaten. But because those who usually spot it, school teachers most notably, aren’t able to with kids stuck at home with their abusers.

None of This Was Inevitable

Why should anyone be surprised that the US has the highest numbers of COVID-19 deaths in the world? Or that our economy is on the brink of collapse? Or that kids and wives are probably getting beaten without mercy? Or that three fucking months in, we still don’t have a good fucking plan? Because the loser in charge of this country is a narcissistic nutjob who couldn’t manage his way out of a paper bag and DOESN’T FUCKING CARE!

Trump’s businesses went bankrupt, what, four, five, six times? And he has a long history of stiffing his contractors. The mother fucker is proud of it. Now, he’s bankrupting this country, financially, morally, and mortally to avoid paying the bill of moving his fat ass and vapid trophy wife out of 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. He’s stirring up his base of bigots, idiots, know nothings, racists, gun wack jobs, and lemmings so that come November he can say he won, no matter what. Meanwhile, the US goes into the Dark Ages. And Mom and I can’t see our family. Or go to dinner with her friends that aren’t bigots. Or even go to the fucking grocery store.

Get over it, people said. It’ll be fine, people said. You’re over reacting, people said when I dreaded a world lead by a soulless, egotistical, narcissistic, sociopath dumbass. I have one question for those people. How you like the country now?

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